Formal Introductory Letter
Dear Professor Blackstone,
My name is Denzil Kong, and I am writing this
letter to introduce myself to you. I am pursuing a bachelor’s degree in civil
engineering at the Singapore Institute of Technology. I have lofty aspirations
to improve the infrastructure and public works in Singapore and the region.
Upon graduating from Ngee Ann Polytechnic with a
diploma in mechanical engineering and a minor in business management, I elected
to pursue a degree in civil engineering, despite my initial major in mechanical
engineering. I have always been asked why I decided to make the jump from mechanical
to civil engineering.
After getting my diploma, I had the opportunity
to travel to countries outside of the Southeast Asia region. Throughout my
travels, I discovered many unique and spectacular buildings and structures that
I had never seen before. Thus, I became interested in learning about the applications
of engineering on buildings and structures.
Although the people around me often form the
impression that I am outspoken and unreserved, I do not exhibit such traits
around unfamiliar faces or when having to address a crowd. I tend to stutter
and sometimes lose my train of thought due to my soft-spoken and shy nature.
One communication strength of mine would be that I am an active listener. When
friends and family approach me with their problems, I am able to understand
things from their perspective and offer effective solutions.
By the end of this module, I hope to be able to
speak confidently to a crowd as well as improve my writing skills to be more
convincing and professional. One attribute that sets me apart from others would
be my unrelenting determination. Once I become fixated on a goal that I want to
accomplish, I will persevere through all challenges no matter how tough they
are.
Thank you.
Best regards,
Denzil
Hi Denzil, for the 4th paragraph, I really liked how you gave a subtle hint about your weakness. Even though it is a subtle point, you gave an excellent example and explained your points concretely which sent the message across clearly. However, the flow of it contrasts strongly with how you mentioned your strengths clearly. In my opinion, to make the whole paragraph flow a little bit better, I would use "On the other hand, I am a strong active listener" instead. Other than that, I feel that you could have explain on how speaking confidently and improving your writing skills would make u to be more convincing and professional. Additionally, the letter ended abruptly. If you were to end the letter with an ending sentence and thank the ]professor for taking the time to read the letter, it would make the letter flow better and appear more courteous to the reader. Other than that, the points are being covered and I am able to understand his explanations due to the clarity in his language. He has excellent usage of his grammar and verbs. Overall the letter was a pleasure to read. Thanks for sharing Denzil!
ReplyDeleteThank you Zul for the advice! I will make sure to improve on these points in the future!
DeleteHi Denzil, I think your letter is very clear and concise. it splits the different areas up to let the user easier to read and understand what you are saying. It is very nice to know that you come from a different course and dare to try new things out.
ReplyDeleteThank you Professor Blackstone! I make use of the opportunities I get during this module to improve on my communication skills.
ReplyDelete